In the next ten years.

When I was Eleven years old a couple of cousins of mine and I were taken with figuring out where we would be and what life would look like in Ten years time. This was in 1971, but I date myself. We talked for days about what choices we would make - settled in one place, going to college, having a business, traveling the country in our sports cars. Youth knowing no bounds found us planning trips, looking for the best cars available, considering the rewards of adulthood. After all we would then be twenty-one years old and fully capable of all legal endeavors. The sky was the limit and using up every inch of the open blue was our goal.

Well uniquely enough that period of prognostication has lived on for me up until this very day. Along the way, there were many factors to contend with and chew through in order to make some sense of what the next decade might look like. During my early twenties I considered the chasm between my skills and that of those around me. I had barely started to read with consistency. Yes literacy is the key to unlocking knowledge. Most of what I had learned throughout high school (public) was predicated upon the first five years in a Catholic (private) grade school. The blaring fact was that I had not found any inspiration to learn for nearly a decade prior. This is a tale for another time altogether.

Understanding my need to lessen this gulf of what seemed like common knowledge. My conclusion was to start back at the basics and fight to catch up with many of my contemporaries. Most of these were older by a decade or more and a good percentage degreed at least to the undergraduate level. I jumped in with both feet and over the period of my twenties came to enjoy a comfortable life as a single male in greater Los Angeles. Able to travel, purchase what I needed, cavort with friends, and enjoy family. There was a lot of need for personal growth as I had expended a lot of energy in ‘coming up to speed’.

As Thirty-One rolled around I found myself a man with two daughters and spouse. Quite different altogether from a few years earlier. But given the newer developments, I still focused as I had prior - on what the ‘next ten’ would bring. Would all this hard work pay off? I had been ‘towing the line’ since twenty-one at an aerospace company and had worked myself off the lower rungs of the business ladder, and was now seeing some return that matched my output. The differences between single life and family life were minimal to me as I had always been more of this sort to start. The question of my vision this time focused upon completing my education and building a financial base for later in life. I saw the goal at forty-one as nailing down the fixtures that bring more time for leisure and play, enough with the sixteen hours days already.

Onward to finish my education and fine focus upon the specific skills I could use to further leadership and qualification for the next level of business play. During this time I proverbially ‘hit the wall’. I was out of gas, exhausted, mentally in need of stress free living. None of this need was met for years to come. The relationship with my spouse died a horrid death and left tremendous hurt behind. The kind commensurate with being too spent for appropriate relationship redirection. I was out of gas in the desert and not a car to be seen. So I crawled to my feet and started to plod along with hopes of finding civilization. Eventually a friend saw me struggling along the side of the road and gave me a ride.

Here I was starting an inventory of what remained in my tool kit and off into the future I headed. When the ten years was coming to a close one could see me gaining some momentum and headed in a direction of excitement with fresh ingredients on the chopping block just waiting to become a gourmet meal. There had been much give and take, searching and finding, long hours, and dedicated effort to land a job at a prime restaurant in Santa Monica. My niche had been discovered and some momentum was now driving this changed future. The diet of ‘humble pie’ that had sustained me for five years had given way to a healthy diet.

Forty-one had arrived with a whimper of pain. The loss, which culminated from a series of mishaps had taken away all forms of the physical personhood I had know. Again with the starting over! This time with mobility issues driving the majority of my days. Still, there remained in me the optimism to look once more into the future for ‘ten more’. Most of the points of reference previously know to me were now gone. Capability was replaced with a pillow full of tears and a near term life of rehabilitative training ahead. The ability to care for myself was highly compromised and I could barely foresee a time ahead where I could target much more than returning to being fluent in business, at least at a point similar  to that of my twenties.


At the end of this 2011 I turn fifty-one years old. I hesitate to guess just what that point may bring in regard to seeing ahead, as I don't dare speculate in the tumultuous times upon me. The danger there lie in being at that place in my life prior to actually being there. The value of the remaining time until I reconcile once more is what I honor for time when it actually comes. Accepting the moments at hand is task enough. The accomplished yet rocky road of the past is now evident in my everyday adventures. I am hoping for what I believe most every person holds dear. A slight breeze at my back, the warm sun to guide me, a path that slopes in my favor, ample food for the trip, and a hand to hold along the way.